As Leslie cried John couldn’t move to console her, after watching her for ten minutes he engaged gear and drove. John took a u-turn and drove towards the heart of Abuja, he drove empty of ideas as to where he would go with Leslie.
While John drove Leslie turned towards her window and cried as many unsaid feelings ran through her mind. The most horrific memory she couldn’t take off her mind was that of John slapping her without remorse. The coldness in his eyes as he did it, the beast that had suddenly been let loose look, his inability to even say a decent sorry. More so he had brought a woman over and whatever his reason was for bringing her it was wrong. He brought some other lady just to make her feel sorry for leaving in the first place. Leslie wasn’t sure why she had responded to John’s call because the night before she had made up her mind to let go of him. She had decided that she wasn’t getting back with John, oh Yeah! Like hell it was gonna hurt, like a vipers sting, it was gonna feel like a venom spreading through every inch of her body. But yesterday as she cried, as her pillows absorbed her tears and her bed felt her pain. Leslie decided it’d hurt less to take a bow from a mental, physical and emotional abusive relationship than put up with it all.
But as John drove in the silence Leslie couldn’t tell why she had said yes to him, to talk of sitting by his side as he drove.
Any driver passing by would easily notice that the man in the driver’s seat had his shoulders down. He had less than 1/100 of the pride a man driving such a car should.
John and Leslie sat quietly both saying nothing. John was just behind the steering not sure where he was driving to.
It was about 45minutes later, John pulled the car to a halt. They both stepped out like robots and went inside John’s house.
Although Leslie had been there a lot of times the house felt new like she had never been there, it felt like it was her first time there. This is the feeling that usually comes with rough edges in relationships or was it just between John and her, Leslie thought to herself.
John left Leslie in the parlour and went inside the bedroom. He kept thinking of the right or possibly best speech to give Leslie, his head was empty no matter how hard he tried to think. Finally, he decided to tell Leslie everything maybe he could earn Leslie’s trust again.
John went to the parlour and sat on the arm of the couch Leslie sat on because it was a single seater there wasn’t enough space for him to seat right beside her so he took the arm instead. ‘Leslie’, John called quietly. Leslie merely turned quietly without any trace of emotion, John searched Leslie’s eyes as if looking for a reply from her or a signal so he could continue. But as he continued waiting he realized she wouldn’t say a thing. So he continued, Leslie I’m so sorry, I’m sorry that I hit you, sorry that my ego was too inflated I couldn’t say sorry when I should have, I’m sorry I decided to punish by bringing in Kemi, I’m sorry Leslie that I made out with Kemi…the moment Leslie heard him confess to making out with Kemi, she couldn’t hold the hurt any more, hot burning tears rolled down her cheeks she moved her lips to say something but the words wouldn’t form.
For John it felt like every drop of tear sliced his heart, he couldn’t watch Leslie cry especially when he was the reason. He quickly came down and took Leslie’s hands in his and knelt down he kept pleading and as he explained how everything unfolded he repeated a sorry at the end of every sentence.
Leslie couldn’t tell how she felt at that point, all she knew was that she felt so weak like she had received a million blows to her head.
John kept pleading but it was like Leslie had gone dumb he could read the shocked but hurt look Leslie was wearing. He knew she had spent the last two days in tears. Her face was puffy her eyes swollen was like if she cried more she’d go blind.
After about an hour Leslie spoke out, wasn’t I enough? What was it I wasn’t doing right? You hit me. Then bedded some other lady. Why?
Because I was so full of myself. Because I was so selfish and inconsiderate but right now Leslie look at me, I’m done with all of those it’s you I want, I just need you so much Leslie I need your light please, I do.
Leslie looked emptily at John with ember red eyes, she felt really hurt but weak at the same time, the sight of John moved every ounce of tenderness within her. As much as she wanted to tell him to leave her alone that she wasn’t interested, she was also scared of losing him. And even though she thought about it yesterday and how painful it would be and felt strong enough, deep down her strength wouldn’t suffice, so she thought.
Leslie couldn’t tell what moved her to forgive John but at that moment she knew at least that love wasn’t the reason, maybe just maybe it was the way he looked into her eyes and pleaded, after all, she has read several times online that any man who could possibly deflate his ego, tell you his wrongs, hiding nothing, and say sorry so much is really in love with you….